Many would argue that life is a learning process as us humans are ignorant beings that had collected a great load of information thanks to our brilliant biological structure and our grand history. We spend most of our days learning, or as what I would prefer to call, “knowledge seeking” because learning seems like a passive process which shall end after our college years. However, I think what weighs in even more is the “thinking process”. Everybody receives a somewhat similar education, but comes out completely different end products. The meditations, the prayers on the beach, the late night pondering, the random scribbles in the journal are the real reasons why every individual is unique.
Some point in my sixteenth year on earth, I realized that I never really had a life before I was thirteen or fourteen. I had lived for my parents and grandparents, I shared their principles and values, did whatever they said was right. Surely I had opinions, but that never went beyond “I don’t like strawberry-flavored ice-cream” or “that cubic statue looks hideous”. I wasn’t a fully functioning human being. I was alive, but never living.
The books that I read, the trips that I took, and the words that I heard during the past ten or more years, accumulated in my head without me knowing, secretly shaping who I am; and then one day, exploded in my head. All of a sudden, I became a living person who had thoughts. I started wondering about life, about love, about human existence; I started questioning, doubting and reflecting. The thing I hated the most wasn’t Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty anymore, but going through life like everybody else. I was scared of what I saw as the “norm”. Fighting for a spot in college, barely learning anything, then getting a job through the connections that my dad had, and my mom set up a marriage for me, having a kid just a year after, eventually focusing all my energy on the kid. I was confused at myself-worth and what it even meant to be alive. But it was only when I lost idea about how to live, that I was consciously alive.
I have done a lot of thinking in the past few years, in early mornings, in the shower, during boring rides and long runs. I’ve came to more than a couple conclusions, and I’ve contradicted myself more than a couple times. It’s only when I’m in my head did I felt truly alive and myself. If there’s one thing that nobody can prevent you from doing, it’s thinking. The human body is a fascinating mechanism, but biology seems so powerless compared to the magnificence of the human brain. The action of thinking, consciously or not, is the road that we must travel in order to grow. Whether it’s reflection on our behaviors, reaction to others’, imaginations and questions about the society and the universe, or longs for materials and understanding, the process thinking define what kind of person we are. I guess this kind of links in with the last post, because our aspirations are a part of our thinking process. It is created in our heads, and made true in our minds.
There’s no way one can hold one’s self back from thinking, but I guess there are ways that we can think differently: be more creative, more reflective, more critical and more original. To understand things in different perspectives, to want new experiences and new desires, to become more aware of our surroundings, to generate a more active and awake thinking process, because our minds are mysterious, intricate machines that should not be wasted in subconsciousness and used merely on “what flavors of ice-cream do I want”. And our lives are worthy of deep thoughts and long meditations.
To think, is to live.